Call the Gypsy (large knowledge of german metal history needed for this reference)

Title: Couple who can't sell £450k home because it's next to gypsy camp plan to bulldoze it and turn land into... a caravan site 

Subject: Couple who can't sell £450k home because it's next to gypsy camp plan to bulldoze it and turn land into... a caravan site 

Web address: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2155709/Couple-sell-450k-home-gypsy-camp-plan-bulldoze-turn-land--caravan-site.html

Date: Thursday, Jun 07 2012

Summary

A Gypsy

Phil and Kathleen Lacey put their four-bedroom country bungalow up for sale when their grown-up children moved out. But when people viewed the property they were put off by a gypsy caravan site which has spread out alongside their home. The couple says they are not moving because of any problems with the gypsy community at the official travelers’ site in the village of Shirenewton, near Cardiff. Gypsies at the site yesterday welcomed Mr Lacey’s plans saying they need twice the space to accommodate people wishing to move to Shirenewton. Travelers on the site said it was a form of racism that people lost interest in the Lacey’s bungalow when they discovered the caravan site next door.

Opinion

It is very kind of these fine British citizens to extend the space of their soon to be ex home to their long time neighbours who are shortly stereotyped as Gypsies. The fact that these gypsies live next to the home sadly sinks the willingness of other people wanting to buy the beautiful house in a even more beautiful area. I would very much like to live there, but my current amount and sadly absence of money does not allow me to. The Lacey’s claim to not be leaving because of problems with their neighbours and I believe them.

Drugs are Baaaaaaaad

Title: Police in 'legal highs' warning after teen dies at RockNess Festival

Subject: Police and health authorities raise concerns over designer drug known as 'Benzo Fury'

Web address: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/home-news/police-in-legal-highs-warning-after-teen-dies-at-rockness-festival-7834602.html

Date: SUNDAY 10 JUNE 2012

Summary

Police are warning festival goers against taking so-called “legal highs” after a teenager died and two other people were taken to hospital at the RockNess Festival in Scotland today. A 19-year-old man collapsed in the main arena of the festival on Saturday night and died early this morning at Raigmore Hospital in Inverness. A second 19-year-old man and a 20-year-old woman were also taken to the hospital earlier today and are recovering. Drugs are believed to be involved in all three incidents. Police and health authorities say they are particularly concerned about a “legal high” or designer drug known as Benzo Fury.

Opinion

It is horrible that someone died at a festival, it should not have been possible to have happened and someone must pay for his. The whole idea of a legal high slightly amuses me since in the Netherlands you are always allowed to get high when you are above the age of eighteen. But it is really their own fault for not thinking about the risks that might be involved in taking drugs. So it is mainly own responsibility. On the other hand however there is no one to hold partly responsible for this because whenever you sell people something it is still possible to not have done enough research and it might be dangerous for anyone to take it. Or as Elvis Costello once brilliantly said: See video next to text.

Dance Gallagher, DANCE!

Title: Noel Gallagher turns down Strictly Come Dancing gig

Subject: NOEL GALLAGHER has had a few surreal moments in his rock ’n’ roll career.

Web address: http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/showbiz/bizarre/4358795/Oasis-Noel-Gallagher-turns-down-name-your-price-offer-from-Strictly-Come-Dancing-bosses.html

Date: Thu, 07 Jun 2012

Summary

There was champagne with Tony Blair at Downing Street, the madness of Knebworth in ’96 and a few weeks back he watched his beloved Manchester City rip the Premier League crown from bitter rivals United in injury time on the last day of the football season. And now the BBC has given him a name-your-price offer for Noel to appear on Strictly Come Dancing. Last night Noel said: “I’m flattered. I’d have done it an’ all as I’ve recently mastered the sticky task of c***** while dancing. Just for one magical moment, imagine Sir Brucie of Forsyth uttering the words: “Nice to see Noel, to see Noel... ”

Opinion

This whole dancing with anything on anything does not grab my attention. Unless it is dancing on lego bricks whilst juggling flaming dagger puking chainsaws, I will not turn on my television to watch already rich people enter a contest to lose all rock and roll credibility and human dignity in a spangly and degrading outfit that leaves nothing to imagination. I am therefore very glad that Noel kindly refused with a comment that is neither mean nor too friendly. Even though Oasis never impressed me much I respect what they did for the music industry.

Forcing is Baaaaad

Title: Forced marriage expected to become a crime

Subject: Forcing someone to marry is set to be made a crime after David Cameron rejected claims that doing so would simply drive the practice underground.

Web address: http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/politics/9315181/Forced-marriage-expected-to-become-a-crime.html

Date: 7:00AM BST 07 Jun 2012

Summary

Almost 1,700 people a year in Britain – most of them women from Pakistani or Bangladeshi backgrounds – come forward to voice fears that their family is plotting to force them into a marriage against their will. David Cameron has condemned the practice as like “slavery” but it is not currently illegal in Britain to make someone to get married against their will. Complete criminalisation would represent a victory for campaigners such as Jasvinder Sanghera, herself a former victim who now runs the charity Karma Nirvana and the support group and helpline The Honour Network.

Opinion

How is something that has “forced” in it not a crime? Forcing something is usually not a positive thing. The fact that I could not come up with any forced thing that could even be remotely positive shows that it is nigh impossible for something forced to be positive since I have a vivid imagination. I also do not see how there could be any discussion about the outlawing of forced marriages. It sounds criminal, it is criminal, let’s make it a crime. Discussion closed. Any people who might disagree with this point of view, please see me in my trailer.

Footballer Gets His Balls Footed.

Title: Joey Barton hit in face outside Garlands nightclub in Liverpool

Subject: Joey Barton hit in face outside Garlands nightclub in Liverpool

Web address: http://www.independent.co.uk/news/uk/crime/joey-barton-hit-in-face-outside-garlands-nightclub-in-liverpool-7814922.html

Date: MONDAY 04 JUNE 2012

Summary

Joey Barton was punched in the face by two men of which one was arrested. This is not the first time this has happened he gets beaten up quite a lot due to his controversial on and off pitch life. He also tweets in a very opinionated manner which pisses off quite a lot of people. Police were immediately on the scene and had to hold back a shirtless Joey Barton, Barton’s girlfriends helped in the holding back process. Barton has been portrayed badly in the news four times in 2004, once in 2005, twice in 2006, twice in 2007, once in 2008, once in 2009, once in 2010, once in 2011 and so far five times in 2012.

Opinion

A man was punched in his face after leaving a bar, why? Because he has opinions. Why is this news? Because he is a footballer. Can we now get on with real news. No? Okay, I will enlargen my opinion. The fact that footballers are famous is because they can kick around a ball on a field really well, sometimes they even play in a team format, more often than not they forget that they are not alone on the field. The biggest problem here is that footballers might get quite arrogant and see their opinions as facts. And everybody knows that is only the case regarding me. 

Marksman Mayhem

Title: Michael Pritchard inquest: Soldier accidentally shot

Subject: A soldier believed to have been killed by a British sniper in Afghanistan was accidentally shot while on active service, a coroner has said.

Web address: http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-18159894

Date: 23 may 2012

Summary

L/Cpl Michael Pritchard, of the 4th Regiment, Royal Military Police, was shot dead in Sangin in 2009. He was deployed to watch a blind spot on the road and make sure the Taliban wasn´t planting bombs. The bullet that killed Pritchard was shot by L/Cpl Malcolm Graham, of the Royal Scots Borderers, 1st Battalion. Graham´s mistake has been writen up to being Graham being tired in vulnerable and unrational circumstances. Although the mistake could´ve been avoided. Pritchard´s parents say that the army has taken no actions regarding the mistake and death of their son. Pritchard´s commander praises him as a brave professional soldier who made a huge impact on the regiment.

Opinion

I find it very weird that someone can be shot to the chest and abdomen with one bullet, it is quite an achievement and sign of very good marksmanship. Sadly it was fired at an ally instead of an enemy. There are two things that are evenly bad about the whole scenario. One is that the parents of said dead soldier have not gotten any form of apology or mention or any of the sort after three years. The other is that there were british soldiers in Afghanistan to support the ego of the USA.

They May Take Our Lives But They Will Never Take Our Beerrrrrr!

Title: Cut alcohol intake to just a quarter pint of beer a day, experts advise

Subject: Researchers say in report that drastic reduction in guideline amounts could save 4,600 lives a year in England

Web address: http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/2012/may/30/cut-alcohol-intake-quarter-pint-daily

Date: Wednesday 30 May 2012 23.30 BST

Summary

People should drink just a half unit of alcohol daily in order to cut the number of deaths from cancer, liver disease and other conditions linked to drinking, health experts are urging. Henry Ashworth, chief executive of the Portman Group, a social responsibility body funded by the drinks industry, said that "78% of people in the UK drink within recommended low risk guidelines, as set by the chief medical officers". He added: "Drastically cutting everyone's consumption to half a unit a day – that is, one large glass of wine a week – is not the way to reduce harms in the small group who misuse alcohol and need specific and targeted help."

Opinion

There is no use cutting people´s alcohol intake. How are you going to monitor it. Put people in each and every bar who send the guests home after one drink? That will cost a lot of money not only to pay those people but also because the selling of alcohol brings in lots of taxes. So by regulating alcohol sales you are regulating money away from the treasury. This is the same idea as with the whole smoking ban and increase on the price of cigarettes. Smokers bring in lots of money so why make them quit. Unhealthy people bring in lots of money and die too soon to cost any. Credit crunch avoided.